You Know Your Into Parrots IF:
- Your home contains 8 cages, 10 play stands, 6
swings, and a bed.
- You are zoned as a rainforest wildlife
sanctuary by your city.
- You consider collard greens, dandelion greens,
parsnips, mustard green, and escarole to be common
- You go through the store checkout with 18
different fruits and veggies (none of which you
plan to eat).
- The person behind you at the checkout asks how
you prepare the collard greens you're holding and
you say that you haven't the slightest idea.
- You have to explain to the lawn care company
that you like dandelions in your yard.
- You see absolutely nothing wrong with having
every piece of furniture in your living room
topped with cages while your lamp is on the floor,
and you use a lap desk because the desk itself
holds your parrot's toy box and broken toys that
- Redecorating the house means finding a way to
squeeze in another bird cage.
- Your garage contains extra cages, play stands,
toys, but no car.
- You've ever answered the phone with a parrot
on your head.
- You tell people on the phone, "I can't talk
now; I've got a parrot on my head."
- People overhearing your parrot discussions
think you're talking about your spouse.
- You drive around on recycling day looking for
the biggest piles of newspaper to steal and feel
guilty when people look out their windows and pity
- You want world peace, to save the environment,
a cure for AIDs and a better way to clean bird
- You have vases full of feathers instead of
- You have 3 TV's and none of them are for you
- Your CD collection contains opera, classical,
and speech lessons, none of which you listen to.
- You haven't owned an alarm clock in 10 years,
but never get up late.
- When your at Home Depot your busy dreaming
about building new play areas.
- You have no carpet in your house, anywhere.
- You shower in the guest bathroom, because the
master bath is too full of perches.
- Your friends come over for dinner and offer to
make a salad, to which you reply "none of those
vegetables are for humans!"
- Your walls are lined with Plexiglas, your
ceilings are lined with Plexiglas, and your floors
are covered in plastic runners, and they are all
- You have to replace your vacuum cleaner at
least twice a year.